As i hit 2 years sober this weekend, I had a whole post written up to share. When I went to post it, the site required me to re-login, and I lost the entire post! Perhaps my higher power telling me it was too long and deep. It was titled "Haymakers and Relapses". I'm sure you can guess the theme and general points.
I think I can remember the ending, the "what's the point" part... which was identifying what is different here with my now 2-year run of sobriety...
1. I was worried and fearful what would happen if I didn't stop drinking, but I decided this time that I could not stay sober based upon willpower and its common companion, fear. I had to find a way to be happy and content in sobriety.
2. I decided on a short-term shake-up of my life. I tried ways that didn't have much impact on the day-to-day. For me, those didn't work. I went to an inpatient facility for 8 days, then I did an intensive outpatient program 3 nights a week. I invested in my sobriety. I am now a full blown stakeholder, and others have an investment as well.
3. When people ask me casually if I'd like a beer or whatever, I say "No, I don't drink anymore". I don't sugar coat with like "naaah, not tonight" or "I'm on this medication"... etc. I don't have to out myself as a full blown alcoholic every time, but I don't dance around the truth either. "I'm not drinking - nope, no thanks, none for me. Actually - and this may blow your mind - but I don't do that anymore".
"No thanks, I'm not drinking tonight...", it's a line I have used in sobriety on a number of occasions. It's my first line of defense in responding to what we all have to deal with in recovery. "Surely you want to have a drink right? Why wouldn't you??".
I was never NOT shocked during my drinking days when someone would abstain or cut off their drinking after maybe one drink. It seemed inhuman, and certainly felt unnecessary. So now, to be that guy that occasionally goes into a setting where a drink is available even encouraged, and NOT accept a drink... really it is a surreal feeling to be that guy!
There is frequently discussion in AA meetings and other recovery settings around how to handle such situations. It's obviously a huge pitfall of sobriety to be around your drug of choice. And its further complicated with alcohol recovery in that its use is so widely accepted. We are bombarded daily by advertising telling us to drink their brand, showing people enjoying friends and family doing ...
I actually feel guilty when people ask me how I'm doing. In a world where there is a large segment of the population that believes the world is evil, broken, is about to end, or wish that it WOULD end... I am enjoying life far more than at any other time in my lifetime. I've overcome addictions and daily alcohol abuse that had me retching, shaking and drinking at 4am every day. I drank lethal doses of alcohol daily. I took my life to the edge of the cliff and bounced off of it. So I'll see your existential threats to humanity (climate, viruses, or whatever those may be) and raise you a huge IDGAF. Life is fragile and fretting over our existence isn't going to change that.
Okay, it's not that I really don't care. But I do believe the egotistic nature of mankind is what is really at work here. Humankind is intellectually curious, ambitious, somewhat greedy. We have become conditioned to always want more and more, leading to expecting more, eventually to DEMANDING more ("OK, Karen" ). While certain ...
How often does this happen to you - when you hear a line of discussion in an AA meeting and you wish you were recording or writing things down. It's like you're receiving words of wisdom from a well written book. I had just such an experience this past weekend, and I will try to share it with you.
The topic was "how do you move forward with your sobriety in times of turmoil".
The first gentleman that spoke on the topic shared that his biggest source of turmoil in his life has always been himself - his conflict with others, his anger, his abrasive reactions to others in his life. While others may do us wrong, the one constant in our interactions and problems we have with other people - and the only one which we can hope to control - is ourselves.
This guy spoke of a another man that had come to do work at his house shortly after he had gotten sober. The man was disheveled, reeking of alcohol and smoke from the previous night or perhaps hours before. Upon realizing the state of his worker, ...
